 | Category: Religion |  |  | | |
1. TV Evangelist
A middle aged couple is watching TV when a TV Evangelist comes on
and promises to heal the sick.
"If only you would pray with Him, place your right hand in the
air, and place ...
(Middle, Couple, When, Heal, Sick, Only, Would, Pray, With, Place, Your, Right, Hand, Left, Area, Will, Crotch, Wife, Honey, Said, Dead) | -
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2. Relatively
Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord... "God, what does a million years mean to you?"
(Einstein, Sinai, Close, Enough, Talk, Lord, What, Million, Mean, Minute, Penny, Have) | -
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3. The Vow of Celebracy
The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven where he's met by a reception committee of angels. After a whirlwind tour, The Pope is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available.
<...
(Pope, Goes, Heaven, Where, Reception, Committee, Whirlwind, Tour, Told, That, Enjoy, Myriad, Read, Ancient, Original, Text, Next, Down, Library, Pour, Over, Every, Version, Bible, Back, From, Most, Recent, Easy, Handwritten, Script, Angel, Librarian, Loud, Scream, Running, Toward) | -
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4. Where to send him?
A Jesuit, a Dominican and a Franciscan were walking along an old road,
debating the greatness of their orders. Suddenly, an apparition of the
Holy Family appeared in front of them, with...
(Jesuit, Dominican, Franciscan, Were, Along, Road, Their, Apparition, Family, Front, Them, With, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, Over, Fell, Face, Come, Sight, Born, Such, Poverty, Beautiful, Trinity, Around, Shoulder, Said, Where, School) | -
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5. Bellboy
Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-firs...
(Once, There, Church, That, Bell, Could, Ring, Came, Priest, Went, Into, Tower, Straight, Face, First, Loud, Clear, Gave, Sunday, Toward, With, Fell, Died, Said, Before, Anybody, Know, This, Name, Because) | -
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6. This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally
fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping.
At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they foun...
(This, Christian, Couple, Felt, Important, They, Went, Shopping, Kennel, This, Particular, Breed, Found, Quite, When, Fetch, Bible, Flash, Look, Psalm, Fast, With, Dexterity, They, Were, Animal, Home, Course, That, Night, Over, Proud, Their, Major, Little, Whether, Able, Usual, Well) | -
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7. A woman had two female
A woman had two female parrots who were always yelling, "We're prostitutes,
want to have a little fun?"
She was talking to her Preacher one day about this. He said he had two male
(Woman, Female, Were, Always, Want, Have, Little, About, This, Said, Male, They, Read, Bible, Thought, Perhaps, Would, Good, Influence, Four, Together, Parrot, Other, Away, Made, Heaven) | -
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8. Absolution
While the Pope was in St. Louis he decided to grant absolution to three
sinners. The first person to come up was Richard Nixon.
The Pope asked, "What is your sin?"
"I hired p...
(While, Pope, Louis, Grant, Absolution, Three, First, Person, Come, Richard, Nixon, What, Your, People, Break, Into, Watergate, Hotel, Kneel, Down, Bless, Next, Line, Bill, Clinton, Wife, Chief, Third, Came, Name, Monica, Chin, Perhaps, Should) | -
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9. A Friend's Prayer
A Friend's Prayer
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who
screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Amen
(Friend, Thousand, Infest, Crotch, Person, Your, Their, Short, Scratch, Amen) | -
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10. God's First Name
This guy dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter is standing at the gate. He says, "If you can answer these three questions I will let you in to heaven. First, how many seconds are i...
(This, Goes, Heaven, When, There, Peter, Gate, Answer, These, Three, Will, First, Many, Year, Second, Week, Have, Them, Third, What, First, Name, Until, Back, Next, Question, Twelve, That, January, February, Over, Well, Meant, Give, Credit, Then, Second, Today, Tomorrow, Again, Admit, Mind) | -
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