 | Category: Medical |  |  | | |
1. Lightbulb: Psychiatrist 2
How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, but it takes five sessions.
(Many, Take, Screw, Five) | -
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2. It Must Be The Drinking
A drunk goes to the doctor complaining of tiredness and headaches.
"I feel tired all the time, my head hurts, and I'm not sleeping. What is it,
Doc?"
The doctor examines hi...
(Drunk, Goes, Doctor, Feel, Time, Head, What, Find, Anything, Wrong, Must, Fair, Enough, Lush, Come, Back, When, Sober) | -
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3. Things you hate during a surgery
-"Wait, we were supposed to REMOVE the implants?"
- "This guy used to beat me up in junior high! I'll show him."
- "Crud, I dropped my contact in there."
- "Nurse, what d...
(Wait, Were, This, Beat, Junior, High, Show, Crud, Contact, There, Nurse, What, This, Button, Worry, Happen, Just) | -
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4. Difference!
What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?
You come in one and you go in the other!
(What, Between, Coffin, Come, Other) | -
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5. Would you please do me a favor?
A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.
Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Doc...
(Work, Patient, Came, Begging, Could, Help, Give, Your, Most, Painful, Patient, That, This, Time, There, Many, People, Room, Right, Want, Miss, Four, Clock, Ball, Game) | -
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6. I've got good and bad
This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"
Patient: Well, give me the bad ne...
(This, Doctor, Thorough, Examination, Have, Good, What, Would, Like, Hear, First, Patient, Well, Give, Doctor, Cancer, Estimate, That, About, Left, That, Terrible, Life, Will, Over, What, Kind, Could, Tell, This, Also, Three, Forget, Everything, Told) | -
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7. The Fat Guy
An extremely obese man shows up at his doctor's office and claims that he's
tried every possible way to lose weight, to no avail. So the doctor proposes a
radical diet: rectal feeding. Re...
(Obese, Doctor, Office, That, Tried, Every, Possible, Lose, Weight, Avail, Radical, Diet, Starve, Death, Take, Enough, Through, Walls, Sustain, Life, Sure, Process, Three, Weeks, Later, Patient, Follow, Down, From, Trim, Into, Seat, Quite, Great, Never, Felt, Case, Like, Just, Some) | -
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8. My wife is beating me
David: My wife beats me, doctor.
Doctor: Oh dear. How often?
David: Every time we play Scrabble!
(David, Wife, Doctor, Doctor, Dear, Often, Every, Time, Play, Scrabble) | -
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9. Massive myocardial infarct
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news and I told a wife that her husband
had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest...
(Told, Wife, That, Husband, Died, Massive, Myocardial, Infarct, More, Than, Five, Later, Heard, Rest, Family, From, Internal) | -
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10. The prison hospital
Prisoner: Look here, doctor! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!
Doctor: I am, bit by bit.
(Look, Here, Doctor, Already, Spleen, Only, Came, Could, This, Place, Doctor) | -
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