 | Category: Lawyer |  |  | | |
1. An honest lawyer
Q: What do you call an honest lawyer?
A: An oxymoron.
(What, Call, Honest, Lawyer) | -
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2. New Improved Lawnmowers
One day a lawyer was riding in his limosine when he saw a guy eating grass He
told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, "Why are you eating grass".
The man replied, "I'm so poor,...
(Lawyer, When, Grass, Told, Stop, Poor, Afford, Thing, Said, Poor, Come, Back, House, Then, Have, Wife, Three, Bring, Them, Along, When, They, Were, Your, Kind, Love, There, Foot, Tall) | -
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3. The Reply
After her conviction of murder in the second degree, the District Attorney,
during her sentencing hearing said, "Mrs. Packard -- after you put the arsenic
in the stew and served it to you...
(Murder, Second, Degree, District, Attorney, During, Said, Packard, Arsenic, Stew, Your, Husband, Feel, Even, Little, Remorse, What, Were, When, That, Quipped, When, Came) | -
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4. Trampoline vs. lawyer
Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a lawyer?
A: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
(What, Between, Lawyer, Take, Your, Jump) | -
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5. Stick
What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
(What, Goose, Duck, Lawyer, Should, Stick, Bill) | -
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6. None
Attorney: So you were gone until you returned?
Attorney: She had three children, right?
Witness: Yes.
Attorney: How many were boys?
Witness: None.
Attorney: Were there any girls?
(Attorney, Were, Gone, Until, Three, Children, Right, Witness, Many, None, Were, There) | -
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7. Blind bunny, meet blind snake
One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped
over a large snake and fell, KerPlop!, right on his twitchy little nose. "Oh,
please excuse me!" said the bunny....
(Blind, Bunny, Hopping, Down, Trail, Over, Large, Snake, Fell, Right, Twitchy, Little, Nose, Please, Excuse, Said, Mean, Trip, That, Sure, Fault, What, Kind, Animal, Well, Know, Never, Seen, Myself, Maybe, Could, Examine, Find, Felt, Soft, Cuddly, Have, Long, Silky, Fluffy, Tail, Dear, Must) | -
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8. Who would steal?
The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up and said, "I have to go back to the office - I forgot to lock the safe!"
The other partner replied, "Wh...
(Firm, Were, Lunch, When, Them, Said, Have, Back, Office, Forgot, Lock, Safe, Other, Partner, What, About, Both, Here) | -
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9. Eternal Marriage
On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal
car accident. The couple is sitting outside heaven's gate waiting on St.Peter to
do an intake. While waiting, t...
(Their, Justice, Peace, Married, Couple, Fatal, Accident, Sitting, Heaven, Gate, Peter, Intake, While, They, Wonder, Could, Heaven, Know, This, First, Time, Anyone, Find, Begin, Should, What, With, Eternal, Aspect, What, Work, Stuck, Together, Forever, Another, Month, Somewhat, Great) | -
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10. Question
A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates.
"$50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer.
"Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man.
"Yes," the lawyer...
(Into, Lawyer, Office, About, Three, That, Steep, What, Your, Third, Question) | -
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