Joke@JoeToe

Joke@JoeToe - The world largest collection of the best funny jokes, humoristic texts and funny pictures on the web.; Category: college

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Category: College
1.  Gentle man
You might be a redneck if...you think the last four words of the Star Spangled
Banner are"Gentlemen, start your engines!"

(Might, Redneck, Think, Last, Four, Star, Gentlemen, Start, Your)
 
 
 
 
 
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2.  The Rabbit's Thesis
One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine
weather. The day was so nice that she became careless and a fox snuck up behind
her and caught her.
"I am ...

(Sunny, Rabbit, Came, Hole, Ground, Enjoy, Fine, Weather, Nice, That, Became, Behind, Caught, Lunch, Said, Wait, Should, Least, Wait, Yeah, Well, Just, Thesis, Over, Wolves, Crazy, Right, Everybody, Will, Always, Like, Come, Into, Read, Yourself, Ahead, Have, Since, Curious, Nothing, Lose)
 
 
 
 
 
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3.  ENGLISH IS A STUPID LANGUAGE
Let's face it, English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant.
No ham in the hamburger.
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not inve...

(Face, English, Stupid, Language, There, Eggplant, Hamburger, Neither, Pine, Apple, Pineapple, Were, England, French, France, Take, Examine, Find, That, Quicksand, Down, Square, Guinea, From, Guinea, Write, Come, Plural, Tooth, Teeth, Phone, Booth, Taught, Vegetarian, What, Heck)
 
 
 
 
 
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4.  Relieving Stress in Class
1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.


2. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.


(
Leave, Permanent, Erase, Board, Whether, First, Chapter, Will, Test, Professor, Your, Textbook, Hold, Piece, Paper, That, Large, Check, Your, Least, Male, Address, When, Scream, Junior, High, Chalk, Chalkboard, Front, Sniff, Been, Correct, Least, Pronunciation, Name, Even, Smith)
 
 
 
 
 
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5.  Strange Computer
For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our
computers were facing away from each other. A few minutes into the class, she
got up to leave the room. I rea...

(Programming, Class, Across, From, Someone, Were, Away, Each, Other, Into, Leave, Room, Between, Came, Back, Look, Face, Over, That, What, Nothing, Would, Happen, Tried, Everything, This, Time, Behind, Monitor, Type, Leave, Alone, They, Both, What, Said, Real, Upset, Anything, Swear)
 
 
 
 
 
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6.  Newspaper
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car
phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy
that answered that he had read...

(Woman, Stolen, That, There, Phone, Policeman, Report, Told, Read, Newspaper, They, Meet, Thief)
 
 
 
 
 
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7.  Anything?
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the
hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly."I would do anything to pass this
exam," she says.She leans closer t...

(Student, Young, Professor, Office, Down, Hall, Door, Would, Anything, Pass, This, Exam, Back, Hair, Into, Mean, Gaze, Anything, Voice, Again, Whisper, Would, Study)
 
 
 
 
 
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8.  Moms and Their Snooping
Three women are discussing their teenage daughters.

The first declares: "I was so shocked last week. I was tidying my daughter's room and I found a packet of cigarettes under her pillow...

(Three, Women, Their, Teenage, First, Last, Week, Daughter, Room, Found, Packet, Under, Pillow, Even, Know, That, Worse, Than, Second, Mother, Bottle, Vodka, Drank, Third, Never, Guess, What, Bedside, Cabinet, Penis)
 
 
 
 
 
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9.  Mowing
How do you know a Brigham Young student's been mowing the lawn?
The welcome mat is destroyed.

(Know, Brigham, Young, Student, Been, Lawn, Welcome)
 
 
 
 
 
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10.  Count Chock Full of Nuts
Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70?

A: Because 69's a mouthfull.

(Blonde, Count, Because)
 
 
 
 
 
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